Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Unconditional

My cat Athena is dying.  Two different vets disagree on what is killing her, but the one thing they are in agreement on is that it won't be long.  She will be the second cat I have lost in eight months.

One day she was fine and the next day she wasn't.  I had just left for a fire assignment.  It was supposed to be a short one, but my pet sitters called and said I should probably come back.  I woke up at 3 am and started driving through the darkness to be with her.

And I just stay with her.  I don't leave the house.  I don't exercise.  There will be time for that later.

I will never be anyone's mother.  For a long time I never wanted that, and then when I thought it might be okay, it was too late.  Instead, I had cats. 

That was okay too.  People don't unconditionally love each other, even if they think they do, but pets love you this way.  They aren't critical or defensive or say they hate you when they're mad.  They greet you the same way if you were gone 5 minutes or 5 days.  They forgive you if you irritate them by getting a new kitten.  You can wear yoga pants all day and not brush your hair and watch the Kardashians and they don't judge you for it.  They don't grow up and move away, or break up with you because they met a new person.

I tell Athena it's all right if she needs to go.  That I've loved every minute of the last 15 years with her.  Maybe, if you believe in these things, and I want to,  my other cat who adored her will be waiting for her somewhere.  They will be together again, happy and healthy.  My heart is broken, but she needs to be free.  I have to let her go.

7 comments:

  1. Athena is a lovely, loving companion. We are glad we have known her. Thoughts are with you.

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  2. So sorry to hear about your cat's illness.

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  3. I am so very sorry. It is so hard to let go of a loved one:-( Huge ((((((((((HUGS)))))))))) to you. She will live on in your heart. xxx

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  4. Aw Lynn, my heart breaks for you. I have 2 cats and everything you said about them is true. They love you no matter what. They are your children, and 15 years is a huge life investment with one another. So, so very sorry :(

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  5. So, so sorry about Athena. Wish I could be there to give you a big hug. Love, Ant

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  6. So, so sorry about Athena. Wish I could be there to give you a big hug and eat some chocolate. Love, Ant

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  7. So, so sorry about Athena. Wish I could be there to give you a big hug and eat some chocolate. Love, Ant

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