Tuesday, November 13, 2012

dear gym

Dear Gym,

As you can see, I'm back. I have to say I didn't really miss you. In fact, I cheated on you a few times with the hotshot weight room at work. I doubt you missed me, as you still extracted money from me all summer long. Your managers did, though; I received several form emails that began condescendingly, "We know there are lots of reasons not to work out. Let us help you get back in the gym." So let me fill you in on what I was doing while I wasn't visiting you:

I burned stuff.

I hiked up to 10 miles a day on this fire.
I helped save this cabin.
I hauled these propane tanks around

I hiked a long way out of this fire.

Now it's winter and I'm back to see you. Surprisingly (or maybe not), the people who were here before I left are still here and look exactly the same. There's Knee Socks, who really gets after it, attacking the elliptical like it's going to get away, and Weight Room Dominator, who monopolizes multiple pieces of equipment at a time. Yoga Girl, whose physique I envy, is here, along with Six Pack, who must never eat a potato chip, ever. There's the herd running to nowhere on the treadmills, and the Talky McTalkersons who socialize more than they work out. I wonder how they stay motivated. I suspect that if I didn't have to carry heavy stuff up hills for work I might slack off more. Who knows: after 25 years of fighting fire it just may be a habit.

So now the gyms will be full of us, firefighters without fires, doing Crossfit and lifting weights and hiking up the stepmill. Given a nice day, though, don't look for me. I'll be on the ski hill or on some snowshoes somewhere. Tell them to send me all the e-mails they want. You'll be around when I come back.


  1. You know knee socks likes to get some. Good one Lynn.

  2. Love it! Now if only I had those awesome 'excuses" in my life when I don't go to the gym!

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