Tuesday, June 25, 2013

What if vampires fought fire? (a totally silly post)

I recently watched this movie:

Brad Pitt is in it.

This man can rock a scarf like no other.

 It started me thinking: what if we recruited zombies to fight fire?

Then I realized, bad idea.  While you'd end up with a horde, which would be handy when you needed a big crew, they would probably just bite people instead of saving them.  And there's the whole decomposition problem.  But what about vampires?

1.  Vampires would work the night shift without complaining.
2.  You wouldn't need to invest in Meals Ready to Eat.  They could subsist on forest creatures they found along the way.
3.  They live forever.  Train them once and they'd be good to go for centuries.
4.  They wouldn't need sleeping bags or headlamps.  They probably wouldn't need transportation either since they can run faster than cars.
5.  They're probably bored, from living forever and all, and want something to do.

Give this man a Pulaski!
 Of course there are some disadvantages:

1. There's still the biting problem, but somehow I feel vampires are more in control of this than zombies.
2.  I once fought a fire in a garlic field.  Probably hard to get a vampire to stick around for that.
3. They wouldn't show up in any of the media photos.
4. Day shift would be a problem.
5. Some people think vampires can be killed by fire.  This could be an obvious problem.  However, there's disagreement on this. We could find out the truth of this once and for all.

I think I'm on to something.  Now if we can get them through the application and hiring process....

Image from thecanaryreview.com


1 comment:

  1. ha ha ha--love this idea. of course, you would have to keep them away from mirrored lakes.


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